I Am Awakened

©2013 Louise Gallagher

I dreamt of you last night
I dreamt
of those days long past
when you held the keys
of my mind
tightly
locked inside the cage
of your deceit
spinning
my life
falling
deeper
into the darkness of despair.

Trapped within
your arms
cold
I could not
feel
the sun and moon and stars
calling me
to break
free.

I dreamt of you last night
and now you’re gone.

I am awakened.

Braking, I stop.

©2013 Louise Gallagher

In the hurtle
of life
roaring down the tracks
of time spent
clicking off the dates
pasted on a wall
I painted
just last year
I wonder
I wonder
(with a harried glance
at the years flying by)
where have all the flowers
gone
I never stopped to pick?

Time was
held fast
within the hypnotic glare
of the view
outside
my window
fogging up
fogging up
by the times
they are a changin’
in the glare
of time
passing by

Braking
sparks fly
and I crash
into time
calling me
calling me
to stop
and enjoy
the wildflowers
dancing in the fields
of beauty
all around.

Braking
I stop
and the world
stops with me.

Never Mind The Numbers

©2013 Louise Gallagher

There was a time
I felt safe
painting by numbers
that connected the dots
with lines of colour
following
one digit leading
to two
and then the next
leading me to a picture
that never surprised me.

There was a time
I tried to live my life
following the numbers
set out carefully
upon the page
that told me what
dot to connect
to create the picture
of my life
that would keep me safe
from boogie men
and unexpected noises
that when bump in the dark.

The numbers are cold now
they’ve lost all sense
of colour
their direction
cast to the wind
freeing up the canvas
where I let go
of keeping the sequence
aligned upon the page
as I explore each moment
as if there are no numbers
to give meaning
to life
there is only the unexpected
gift of being
alive
in the vibrant rainbow
of life flowing
all around me

Life is
getting more interesting
surprise greets me
around every corner
and I embrace
the unexpected
in the numbers
disappearing
as I paint
outside the frame
I once imagined
was the only way
to live my life.

I like it
out here
beyond the connecting
dots
spreading
my wings
kicking up my heels
leaping from a puddle
into the rainbow
at the end of the street
with no numbers.

Out here
I write and paint
and sing and dance
and live and love
and spin about
and never mind
the numbers.

Out here
I am alive.

A Painter’s Tale — Part 2

©2013 Louise Gallagher

For  Lynn and Tamara 

I am
an idea
that began
with just a seed
cast upon the wind
my fate
determined
to survive
on nature’s whim.

Blown free
I find
myself
planted
in the soil
of possibility
deeply rooted
in the light
and love
around me.

I stand
in the forest
of my sisters
sheltering me
from the winds
that blow
holding me
rooted
to this place
where I am
a tree
becoming me.

***********************************

On Sunday when I left my tree painting on my easel I thought I was almost done. Last night, after working on it for another 3 hours, I discovered the trees had more to reveal.

A Painter’s Tale

©2013 Louise Gallagher

I pour myself
upon a blank canvas
immersing time
and space
into the flow
of what appears
present
when I let go
of needing
to make visible
what is not seen.

Creativity runs
wild
in the forest
of possibility
transforming
what was not there
into what becomes
present
in the moment
when I let go
of believing
it’s up to me
to make it happen.

And Now You’re Gone

©2013 Louise Gallagher

I remember the times
we walked and laughed
you were larger than life
to me you were a demi-god
my big bro
my protector
my hero

We’d walk down the hill
pass beneath the gargoyles
that hung out
from the top of the roof
of the house
at the corner
we’d turn right
along the cobblestone lane
to the park where the lion
kept watch
and we’d sit on that bench
where you once told me you drank
a beer with a girl you thought you might marry
and then you laughed
and told me about all the other girls
the one’s who got away
the one’s you caught
and I’d laugh and look up to you
and know
no matter what happened to
the others
we would always be
connected
we were family.

and now, you’re gone
and I remember
those times
and I remember
your smile that made girls swoon
and your dark eyes that made hearts melt
and I remember how you taught me
to ride a bike
and to always get up after a fall
and how you taught me
to drive
and told me what to do
even when I wasn’t listening
and how I used to joke
and tell you that the sun rose
and set
on the son
but that didn’t make you
the boss of me.

and I wish
I could have them back
even the arguments
the anger, the tears
I wish
I could have you here
to sit on a bench
and tell you
in case you didn’t know
I love you.

The Beginning of Forever

©2013 Louise Gallagher

If memory serves me well
there was a time
before this time
began
where possibility
stretched
out
into the limitless space
of the horizon
and life
flowed
out
into forever.

That was the time
when we met
and all I could imagine
awoke
once
upon
a time
when your kiss
touched
me
deep
within
my dreams
and I knew
forever after
had begun.

Did You Know?

©2013 Louise Gallagher

Did you hesitate in the end
did you lift your foot
off the gas
your body rigid
as the moment of impact
raced near
blocking out
the sun and moon and stars
leaving you both
crushed together upon the road
life escaping
in one final agony of breath
crying into eternity
did you know?

Did you grip her hand
this woman you had loved
for so many years
your eyes looking only at her
your fingers crushing her delicate bones
did she look away for just a moment
and see
destiny racing towards you
did she yell
scream
cry
look out!
Stop!
did you ignore her
or did you both
know?

did you feel fear
regret
sorrow
was it just an accident
a momentary slip of attention
a cosmic shift of focus
that left you
shattered
never to breathe
into the gift
of time
to make right
what was done
if only
you could do it
all over again
did you know?

There is so much
I don’t know
on this day that appeared
upon the calendar
sixteen years ago
when your life
ended
and I began to search
for the truth
of knowing
it is
in the end
only love
that can make sense
of what I do not know
it is only love
that connects us
beyond this place
where I wonder
did you know?

What’s the Question?

©2013 Louise Gallagher

There is no answer
to questions
I dare not ask
for fear
I will not find
the answers I seek
yet, everyday I act
like I have found the answer
and find myself
forgetting
to explore
the space beyond
where I don’t know
the question
isn’t what now
but what next?

My Heart Has A Voice

©2013 Louise Gallagher

My heart has a voice
I hear it calling in the quiet
of a dawn
breaking
wide open
to a day of delight
spanning out towards the horizon
where pink light
streams
out of the nothingness of night
rising up
into limitless possibility.

My heart has a voice
that beckons me
to release my fears
and surrender myself
to living
free
of believing
anything
other than this knowing
that I am here
in the rapture
of this moment
now
for the single purpose
of being
free.

Thank you Howard Parsons. Your daily Hopeful Notes From Howie J today inspired this poem.