Never Mind The Numbers

There was a time
I felt safe
painting by numbers
that connected the dots
with lines of colour
following
one digit leading
to two
and then the next
leading me to a picture
that never surprised me.

There was a time
I tried to live my life
following the numbers
set out carefully
upon the page
that told me what
dot to connect
to create the picture
of my life
that would keep me safe
from boogie men
and unexpected noises
that when bump in the dark.

The numbers are cold now
they’ve lost all sense
of colour
their direction
cast to the wind
freeing up the canvas
where I let go
of keeping the sequence
aligned upon the page
as I explore each moment
as if there are no numbers
to give meaning
to life
there is only the unexpected
gift of being
alive
in the vibrant rainbow
of life flowing
all around me

Life is
getting more interesting
surprise greets me
around every corner
and I embrace
the unexpected
in the numbers
disappearing
as I paint
outside the frame
I once imagined
was the only way
to live my life.

I like it
out here
beyond the connecting
dots
spreading
my wings
kicking up my heels
leaping from a puddle
into the rainbow
at the end of the street
with no numbers.

Out here
I write and paint
and sing and dance
and live and love
and spin about
and never mind
the numbers.

Out here
I am alive.